Fighting my mom's battle

Den has been hanging out with my dad a lot lately and he's told me some very interesting things about me as I baby which I've blocked out. Den think it's weird that I don't remember massive chuncks of my growing up.

At this point, I'm torn about what to do. I've been a solider in a secret war for 29 years; the war between my parents. I've been fighting on my mom's side for so long, I don't know what will happen if I decide to change sides now. I've grown up hearing about what a bum my dad is and how he's no good but all the things that Den has been telling me lately wants me to give him a chance. The only problem is I don't know how....I've never had a touchy feely relationship with my dad and he's a stranger to me.

I've been programmed against my dad for so long, I can't even tell which feelings and opinions are really mine and which ones are things that my mom has taught me to believe. It's awful to think that your mother is evil and is capable of deceit and yet, I can believe it because sometimes mom'll say things that will get under my skin and then she'll act as though she's said nothing at all.

I don't know how to build a relationship from scratch, but I think I may just be willing to try.

Birthday Thoughts

So today's my birthday (I'm 29) and I decided to celebrate it in the best way I know how, by going to places and taking advantage of free stuff. Did you know if you sign up for Red Robin's and Coldstone's e-mail, they'll send you a free coupon for a burger and an ice cream on your birthday? I know that it's not much but hey, with gas prices and everything else going up daily, it's the little things that make life worhwhile. I also received a card in the mail from my aunt and uncle yesterday. It's always nice when people care enough to see a birthday card and wish you a happy birthday.

Mom said she's sending a card but apologized for not enclosing money. She's such a silly lady. I told her I could care less if there's money in the card, it's the thought that counts. Den is coming home from work early today so I wonder what he ha planned. All in all, it's been a good day so far. I took the day off so I coul enjoy my birthday and have time to reflect on my life and the future. I feel very lucky and blessed to be alive, especially considering how many people have been dying lately. One of my cousins (Marvin Stone) passed away last week and the fact that he died so young (26) really makes you realize how important life is.