Too much on my plate and not enough hands

So, I've made some major changes in my life fairly recently. First, D. and I decided to stay in Huntsville, at least for the time being. The main reason for staying is that the housing prices in California are extremely high right now and I refuse to go from living with my mom to living with D.'s mom. That being said, we deicded to try to get a house. I know what you're thinking, buying a house is a major project to take on and it takes lots of time and effort. I know all this, but with God's help, we were able to accomplish everything in a matter of three weeks. Now, we've moved into a very nice house.

Second, I decided to take the MAT (Millers Analogies Test) to try to get into grad school before the deadline at Alabama passes (April 15). I think I did pretty good but one never knows about these sort of things. In reference to grad school, I'm excited yet scared at the same time. On the one hand, I'm excited because it will be an opportunity to do something new in order to achieve a goal that I really want which is to get a Master's degree. On the other hand, I'm scared that I won't live up to the standards that everyone has set for me. Although my boss and co-workers have said "I'll be a great librarian," I still have that fear of failure in my head that I won't be able to cut it.

Third, I am still in the process of wedding planning. With the whole process of buying our house, wedding plans kinda took a backseat However, I did manage to have a bridal shower last Saturday which was fun yet bizzare to me. Growing up, I never really had a lot of birthday parties. I am also the type of person who doesn't really like to be the center of attention. After having said all this, you can just imagine how exciting it was for me to be at a party when I am the guest of honor and there are games being played which revolve around how well the party guests know me. It was strange. Then it was also odd seeing so many people coming out to wish me well and give me presents. It was nice and I had a great time.

I feel bad because it has been so long since I have taken the time out to write. Writing used to bring me so much joy.Writing was once my medicine; it provided me with release after a stressful day. I guess at some point in my life, I felt like my words had no power and no one cared what I had to say. I just needed time to come to the realization that if I find comfort in writing, then writing is what I need to do.