Is it wrong to want to trade in your father?

I love my parents, I really do. At least I love my mom anyway. When it comes to how I feel about my dad, I don't really care for him at all. It's just that he has this habit of being an extreme pain in the butt and he always struts around acting like he's the best thing since sliced bread when he is not.

Maybe, I should let bygones be bygones. After all, he is my father and I should treat him with the respect that he deserves....okay-even I find this statement hard to believe.I guess in order to be fair to my dad, I should try to forgive him for all the dirt he has done.

I am really mad at him because, for some reason, he feels that he can abandon his duties as a parent for twenty or so years and then come back and everyone should be patting him on the back for deciding to stop by for a while.

I'm not gonna sit here and act like all my problems in life stem from him not being around but I do feel that this is somewhat true. I have abandonment issues when it comes to men in my life. I feel like they're always going to leave me or are thinking about leaving me. That's why I always dump guys before they have the chance to dump me.

Anyway, call me old fashioned if you want but I feel that it is very important for a kid to have both parents around as they grow up. I know what you're thinking, "what it the two people hate each other's guts?" In that case, they can still live apart but strive to make an effort to incorporate themselves in the kid's life. I know, great to say but hard to do,especially when it comes to my dad.

What really upsets me about the whole thing with my dad is that he doesn't care. He was never around, never called, never stuck around, and it hilarious to me that he now has the nerve to try to tell me, my 23 year old brother, and my 21 year old sister what to do. Not to sound really ghetto or nothing but, NIGGA PLEASE!!!

All I ever wanted from him was to be responsible and be a father. I don't need some 50 year old man coming around me getting drunk and acting like some horny teenager,trying to hit on girls my age and younger. I want him stop coming around filling my mom's head with dreams of a reconciliation that will never come true and breaking her heart over and over again.

I want him to grow up and stop acting like an idiot. If he can't do that, I'd rather have him go away and never see him again.

What happened to willpower?

I was reading a People magazine from last week and I was disgusted by the cover.The cover had two women on the front who were being praised for having cosmetic work (thousands of dollars worth)done to themselves.I feel awful that this seems to be a new trend that's sweeping the nation of having anything you can think of surgically altered.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you should don't get sugery done if that makes you happy or if it's a matter of life or death. I am saying that to me, it's ridiculous seeing what measures people will go to in order to be defined as "beautiful" by society.

So far, I know of two people who have had the gastric bypass done, a girl name R. and her mother. Her mother was scared to get it done, so R. went first although the doctor told her that she didn't need the surgery.Now several months later, they've both had it done and I have a feeling that R.'s sister will eventually have it done also.R. thinks she is the most beautiful girl in the world now, but she isn't. This is becuase she has yet to learn a important lesson that come with having any type of surgery:all the money in the world can't change your mind or your attitude. If you're a mean fat person, having weight loss surgery will only turn you into a mean skinny person.

I really wonder sometimes when did we all get so lazy that we've had to resort to surgery? I kind of think it has to do with the fact that we live in an instant society when we expect eveything to happen instantly. No one believes in waiting for things anymore. Why should they when things can be done so quickly?

The other thing that annoys me to no end are people who get weight loss surgery because they don't want to be in control of their lives;they want an outside force to control them.What do I mean? Okay, let's say that I really want an extra large pizza with the works. Once I get the pizza, it's up to me to decide how much I want and to exercise the willpower to stop when I feel full. There are some people who say that they have no willpower and no control when it comes to food so they need surgery to help them.

Personally, I would never get the surgery for two very important reasons. First, I feel that I can find anohter way to lose weight without having to shell out thousands of dollars. I owe it to myself to learn to eating the proper way, not surrender to what's trendy. The other reason for me not having the surgery is because I belive what the bible says about your body being a temple. I feel that it is a complete waste of time altering your body. I mean,it's not like you're going to be able to take it with you when you die.

I went to work yesterday and was greeted with the news that A. had gotten engaged over the weekend. Of course, I was happy for her, however, this also put me into a state of....limbo? Okay, so that may not be the exact word I'm looking for,but for now, it'll do.

It's not like I'm trying to rain on anyone's parade or anything, I just hate feeling like I'm competeing with people over reaching major milestones in life. I case you have'nt figured it out yet, me and A. are both 24.

I feel that how I choose to live my life and the decisions I make are completely up to me. The problem is my family has yet to see this. According to them, I'm supposed to be married by now. Don't you find it odd how the people who always give their opinions have no postive experience to back it up?

For example, my mom (whom I love dearly) has been constantly on my case saying "you and D. should be married by now since you've been dating for five years." My whole thing with that is my mom's been married to my dad three times of course she's be advising me to go get hitched and I do kinda think she still has a torch for him. But hey, that's just me.

I suppose I'm finally realizing that the phrase "misery loves company" is alive and kicking.It seems as thoguh some married people who get divorced and are miserable want nothing more than to have a new member join the sad little club.This way, they'll have someone to gripe with as opposed to their regular circle of friends. I just feel that if you are in a crappy relationship, you are the last person in the world that should be giving anyone relationship advice.

Why complain when it's free? (with free cooking tips!)

I went on trip yesterday with my church to Nashville. We came, we sung, the pastor preached, and the afterwards, we ate.Although we had a pretty decent time there, some people still had something negative to say.

Call me crazy if you like, but I personally feel that if you are lucky enough to get anything free, especially if it's a free meal, you should thankful for your good luck. Unfortunately for me, I was with some ghetto kids who loaded down their plates with food then have the nerve to critize the quality of the food. That's enough to make you want to slap someone....repeatedly.

My whole thing is this, why would you load down your plate if you've never tasted the food before? I mean sure, food is the same all around however, there is some food that if not cooked properly, it can be god-awful. Take stuffing for example.

I'm not even going to pretend that I'm some culinary guru or anything but there is a wrong way to make something and a right way. If nothing else, at least have enough sense to read the instructions before even attempting to cook. I learned a long time ago that most cooking mishaps (the burnt food, the halfway cooked turkey, etc) were the result of not reading.This doesn't mean that reading will secure cooking success because it doesn't but it definitely helps.

In order to have cooking success, you also need to know how to measure things. Once again, I don't cook very often but I do know that importance of knowing the difference between a teaspoon and a tablespoon.

I guess what it all comes down to is why do people complain about things when they got it for free? That's like getting a million dollars and the complaining because you go taxed .99 cents. Why don't you just shut up and enjoy it? Don't you know how many people would kill for what you've just gotten for free! People never fail to amaze me by how ungrateful they can be.

Is a bachelor degree the new high school diploma?

I read in the newspaper yesterday that the economy is so weak that many college graduates are having to move back home with their parents and work for minimum wage. As you could imagine, this made me feel a lot better knowing that I'm not the only twenty something living at home with my mom.

So, I started thinking about how odd it is that just a few years ago, people who graduated with a bachelor's degree were seen as a rare breed and were paid accordingly.

Oh how the times have changed.

Not that I'm complaining about my life or anything.All I'm saying is that it sucks that I've spent four years of my life working to obtain a degree for the sole purpose of getting a good paying job and at the end of the day,I'm working at a job which barely pays my bills.I guess that worst thing about it is that people expect you to be happy where you are...they want to make you happy about the job you're doing.

I always imagined that when I finished college, I'd have a job waiting for me and that I would be able to support myself and enjoy life as an adult. Unfortunatley, life had other plans in mind.

I find myself at twenty-four years old living at home, chipping in to help pay bills, and working at the same place for the last five years except in a different position and with a few more dollars.

It seems surreal to me when exactly having a bachelor degree was no longer enough to secure a job for yourself.The strangest thing in the world to me is the fact that most jobs are wanting applicants with at least a bachelor's degree as well as experience or maybe even a person with a master's degree.

I wonder when everyone decided to raise the bar by getting a bachelor's degree which messed it up for everyone else who now have to work that much harder to fight for the already small amount of jobs that are out there.

To all the twenty something middle class poor, I hope that things get better for us instead of getting worse.

Why I have to escape sometimes

I have an confession to make...I hate being at home. I'll do whatever is needed not be be there. It's not like I totally hate my family or anything, it's just that well, the house is too small and confined.

Here's the thing. The house I live in was not built to house more than a family of three-maybe four at the most. At the most, there is about six people currently living there. Needless to say, the good times never end at my house.I like my house;it has character.

I guess the reason why I stay way from home so much is because I like being out doing stuff even if the stuff in question is lounging around and reading a book.I mean it's not like I've completely moved out.Nope, my clothes are still there and my mail still goes there.My house is just a boring place to be.

Am I not good enough to marry?

I love my boyfriend. I love him to death. The only problem is that he does want to commit. Or rather, he's commited to me but not really commited to me. What do I mean? Well, I'll explain.

Den and I have been dating for five years now exclusively and yet, he won't propose. Hell, he won't even talk about our future together.When I question him about why he won't propose, he gives me one of the following lovely responses:

1. It's not on his list of goals.
2. I can't force him to do anything until he's good and ready cause he's a man and men make their own decisions.
3. Why ruin what we have now by doing something crazy like get married ?
4. We go on trips and I buy you stuff, isn't that enough?
5. Why are you being so materialistic? (when I ask about getting an engagement ring)

Friends say I should leave him because he's never gonna take the plunge and marry me, that he'll just keep messing with my head forever.I love him a lot but part of me also thinks I've gotten too comfortable being in a relationship and I'm scared of being alone.I just get tired of feeling like he's only wants me around because it's convenient and safe and he's just waiting around until he finds someone better.

My self esteem is screwed up enough as it is without having seeds of self-doubt planted in my head.Is he with me bcause he can't find anyone else? Is he just settling? Am I good enough to fool around with,but not good enough to marry?Is that what this all comes down to, being that girl he fools around with but not the one he spends the rest of his life with?